How to deal with grief?

First, let’s begin with the question ‘What is grief?’ Grief is nothing but self pity. For example, what do we do when someone dies? The person who is dead is beyond feeling, beyond pain, and beyond any kind of emotions. It is we who are going to miss them. They are not going to miss us. So grief over their death is nothing but tears of self pity for ourselves, not for the dead person.

We have to continue paying our bank loans and income tax. So how does ‘grieving’ help? And why should we grieve in the first place? Let us enjoy the time given to us to be together, and when it is time to move on, let us accept that with absolute faith. That is how we ought to deal with grief.

When it comes to grieving over traumas or incidents in our subconscious, let us dismiss them with the knowing that the Universe works in perfection. Let the trauma be there but let us not get traumatised by the trauma. Let’s not carry the traumas along in our memory and keep bringing them back. Let us continue living our life, and eventually the traumas will dissipate.

If I tell you a joke, and you find it funny, you laugh. When you finish laughing and I tell you the same joke again, will you laugh again? No. You’ve heard it once and you are done laughing over it. And if I tell you the same joke a third time, you will take your slippers and throw them at me. But if I insult you, you’ll get angry. And if I repeat the insult, you’ll get angry again. And even if I say the same insult a thousand times, you’ll get angry a thousand times. You can’t laugh at a joke more than once, but you get angry at the same insult a thousand times.

However, if you don’t take the insult even once, it stays with me. So why can’t we treat grief and trauma in the same manner. Just don’t take them!